285 pounds.
That's how much I weighed before I started Weight Watchers. Wow, I've never actually told anyone that. I mean, my friends and family and frankly anyone who has seen me could tell I was, well, fat, obese, and completely out of control when it came to my health. But I never ever wanted anyone to know how far it had gone.
My weight has been the bane of my existence for as long as I can remember. Mirrors are one of my sworn enemies, along with the scale. Especially the scale at the doctor's office. Most humiliating moments of my life have been when they've added and added and added to make it balance. I know I'm huge, no need to start off low like you're doing me a favor. It just prolongs the agony.
I suppose I could blame my parents, my life, etc. for how out of control my weight got. And I'd imagine when it came to my weight issues in my youth, that's how it all started. They probably could have set better examples and provided healthier options. But I'm 25, almost 26 now, and I am fully aware of what it means to eat and lead a healthy lifestyle. I simply did not want to do so for a long time. Finally, towards the end of last year, I just couldn't deny that my weight impedes the life I want to have and how I want to look and the fact that I want to look how I feel and that I want to feel pretty, not pretty even though she's fat, but just pretty. I know it sounds vain, but anyone who's truly overweight understands what I'm saying.
My mom, dad and stepmom have encouraged and paid for me to try almost every diet, workout, etc. to try to get a handle on my weight issues for years. And while most worked in brief periods, nothing ever stuck. And it didn't help that when they're funding it, they take an insane amount of interest in it. Which does nothing but piss me off. It finally occurred to me that whatever program I chose to do, I needed to do it on my own and completely for myself.
I have heard a lot, A LOT, about Weight Watchers over the years. Different family friends have done it and had success. My mom has been doing it almost a year and gotten a really good handle on her weight. So, I decided to try out some of it before officially trying it out. I tried some of the recipes, looked into that whole Points system and became a bit more aware of what I was eating and how much I was eating. Before officially signing up, I had lost about 5 lbs. That was enough to convince me to do it for real.
One Sunday, back in the middle of January, I signed up and began the program. And I didn't tell anyone for a week or so. I wanted to make sure this was all about me. And I wanted to make it clear this wasn't some New Year's resolution. This is the beginning of a lifestyle change. 2012 is the year I work on getting all my health issues under control. And I started with my biggest one, my weight.
I have lost 34.5 lbs so far and cannot wait to lose the rest that I need to. In the next few posts, I will do a few quick overviews of the first few months of weight loss. Then, it's probably going to be more of a weekly update on Sundays. And once we get to that, the posts will likely get shorter- thanks for bearing with me through all of this!
Peace & Love, Kaitlin
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