April Overview

April seems like a bit of blur to me, to be honest.

I know it started with Easter, the first big holiday meal where I was going to need to figure out my points without seeming crazy or awkward.  No worries, the meal was nice, somewhat awkward for other reasons, but fine overall. 

I had finally started exercising regularly and planning the week's meals, etc.  I was even getting good at factoring in eating out with friends.  I knew how much I could drink, what meals I could eat and how to tweak the meals to make them less points so I could splurge a little if I felt like it.

April is when Spring finally hits Memphis, so the flowers were all finally blooming, it was warm enough to wear shorts and flip flops again- and for the first time in over four years I actually wore shorts!  When you get bigger and bigger you want to hide the weight as best you can.  You don't want anyone to see just how disgusting you really look.  Clothes that can semi-hide it become your best friend.  Now, I know they don't suddenly make you seem skinny, but if they can make people wonder if maybe your shirt is just too big and flowy, then that's a plus.  Fitted clothes make you hate yourself.  Anything that clings is your enemy.  Shopping is usually so upsetting that it requires a few days to get out of the funk/depression it caused.

I'm not saying I'm totally okay with clingy, fitted clothes yet, but I'm doing better.  My mom and I went shopping to prep for my fast-approaching European vacation and I didn't hate it.  I actually liked that I had gone down a few sizes.  Which led to me trying on and getting a pair of shorts.  

It was a good feeling, definitely validating all that I am working on with my weight and lifestyle change. 

This was the month where, due to all my planning ahead with meals, I ended up with a large amount of points for dinner a few nights. Those nights I tried to treat myself and splurge with meals I used to eat before starting Weight Watchers.  I could not finish those meals.  They made me feel so bloated and sick.  And what was sad is that they weren't even the whole meals I used to eat, just the main dishes.  I could not believe that I used to eat such large quantities like it was nothing.  I was so glad to see that my lifestyle change is working and that even when I have the points, my stomach has started going "Uum, hell no, not that much."  It means it's working and I'm on the right track.